So it’s been 3 years. 3 years ago, today, my world changed. Was it the worst day of my life? No, but close. How could it not be? Well that’s a daily battle that isn’t easy to explain.
Initially, things seemed as though they couldn’t be worse. I just had my son and a month later I’m stuck in a hospital bed after a freak kayaking accident, while my wife has to figure out the whole new Mom thing, wonder what is going to happen with her husband, as well as wonder what life will be like from this point on. Thinking about my family rather than myself is where things changed for me.
Rather than sit there and feel sorry for myself and complain that life isn’t fair, I thought, "What can I do to make this easier on them and show them we can still enjoy ourselves and this isn’t the end?" I mean, I’m still here, I can hold my boy (be a built-in stroller for him), kiss my wife, hang with my family, teach my son how to play football and baseball, take the dog for a walk, I can basically do anything I want still (just a bit slower ha). That is a lot more than many other people have.
The small things that I used to take for granted mean more to me now than ever before. Yes, there are still many tough/frustrating days, but I see it as a choice to either be sad and miserable, bringing down everyone around me, or trust in my faith, embrace it and take it head on, trying to be better each day than I was the day before.
On the 3rd “anniversary”, if you will, I decided, rather than use it as my day to be miserable and angry at the world, I wanted to step out of my comfort zone a bit more and get back in the very thing that helped put me in this situation, a kayak. I realized there's no benefit of allowing fear or a grudge to hold me back.
Do I still want to take a shotgun to a kayak when I’m up and walking again? YES! But until then I will take this small step up the mountain. 3 years later, when doctors told me nothing more would return, I am still getting more feeling and more response than before, so I look at this more as a temporary inconvenience. It’s not over until I WIN!
Thank you for all the love and support Hope For Helm!